Coping with Separation Anxiety as the School Year Begins (and any other time)

sad little brother with big sister kisses

As the school year commences, many children and parents experience a mix of excitement and nervousness. For some, the transition can be particularly challenging due to separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is a common emotional response seen in young children when they have to be apart from their primary caregivers, such as parents or guardians. Let's explore the signs of separation anxiety, discuss its impact on both children and parents, and I will offer some practical tips to cope with this emotional hurdle during the back-to-school season and even throw in some tangible activities, items, etc. that may be supportive for your child and you.

Understanding Separation Anxiety:

Separation anxiety often manifests when children start school or daycare for the first time, but it can also resurface after long vacations or extended breaks. The fear of being separated from loved ones can lead to clingy behavior, tears, and reluctance to attend school. Children might worry about their parents' well-being while they are apart, fearing something might happen to them. It's essential to understand that separation anxiety is a natural part of a child's development and will often improve with time and support.

The Impact on Children and Parents:

Separation anxiety can be emotionally draining for both children and parents. Children may feel overwhelmed by their emotions, leading to stress and difficulty focusing on at school. On the other hand, parents might experience feelings of guilt or helplessness, not knowing how to ease their child's distress. The emotional bond between child and caregiver is powerful, and the thought of separation can evoke strong emotions for both parties.

Tips for Coping with Separation Anxiety:

1. Gradual Transitions: Ease into the back-to-school routine by implementing gradual transitions. Arrange shorter visits to the school or daycare center before the official start date, allowing your child to become familiar with the environment. During summer head to the school’s playground to play, take advantage of any before school tours offered, PTA events, meet the teacher, you can even seek out a school map to look over together with your child.

2. Create a Comforting Routine: Establish a consistent morning routine before school, providing a sense of predictability and security for your child. A structured routine can help ease anxiety by knowing what to expect each day.

3. Stay Positive and Reassuring: Offer words of encouragement and reassurance, letting your child know that you believe in them and that school can be an exciting and enjoyable experience. Avoid lingering goodbyes, as this can prolong their anxiety.

4. Familiar Objects: Encourage your child to bring a comforting object from home, such as a favorite stuffed animal (if appropriate and allowed for their school setting) or a family photo to provide a sense of familiarity during the day.

5. Maintain Open Communication: Keep communication lines open with your child's teacher or caregiver. Share information about your child's anxieties and preferences, allowing them to provide the necessary support.

6. Practice Separation: At home, practice brief separations, gradually increasing the time away from each other. This can help your child build confidence in handling separation.

Separation anxiety is a common challenge faced by many children and parents during the back-to-school season. While it can be emotionally overwhelming, remember that it's a natural part of your child's development and can be managed with patience, understanding, and consistent support. By creating a nurturing and reassuring environment, gradually transitioning into the school routine, and maintaining open communication, parents can help their children overcome separation anxiety and embark on an exciting new school year with confidence.

Here are a few journals, books, activities and items that can support your child and you through times of separation anxiety: 


FeelLinks Journal (great for ages 4 - 9)

Between Mom and Me: A Guided Journal for Mother and Son (great for ages 9+)

Just between us: Mother and Daughter (great for ages 9+)

Just between us: Mother and Son (great for ages 9+)

Between Dad and Me Journal: A father and son journal (great for ages 9+)

Between Dad and Me: A father and daughter journal (great for ages 9+)


Feel Trip: A journey through ordinary emotions

The Invisible String

The Kissing Hand


Create matching bracelets. A wonderful connection activity to go to the craft shop, choose beads and string, then create bracelets. They can be worn when you are separated as they symbolize being connected.

You can give your child this beautiful poem as well:

These special bracelets, are made for you and me. A tiny one for your wrist and big one for mine, you see. When I wear my bracelet, I will always think of you. And I know that when you’re wearing yours, you’ll be thinking of me too.  Sometimes you will miss me, sometimes we’ll be apart. But your bracelet can remind you, that you’re forever in my heart.

Mini paper shredder to shred the worries. Kids can draw their worries and shred them in the mini shredder. This tool can be used for all kinds of worries and anxieties.


FeelLinks emotion plush dolls. Hands-on tools that support kids' and adults' to be more open and communicate about their emotions. These are great for playtime, building scenarios around anxiety and other emotions and great for sharing how worry affects our bodies (how does our head, heart and belly feel).

Pocket hug! Lots of different types to buy or make something together.

Worry Stones. There are many different types out there to purchase, or go hunting outdoors for a nice rock, together!

I hope these resources and ideas are supportive for your child and you!

xoxo Marcelle

Feel Free to comment with other thoughts and ideas and also, please pass this along to others that you feel will benefit.

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