Raising Resilient Kids: When We Step Back, They Step Up

Image: Wall Street Journal article  'Snowplowing: When Parents Try to Clear All the Obstacles' - March, 2019

As parents, we want to see our kids happy, safe, and successful. It’s natural to want to smooth their path - to step in, clear away obstacles, and protect them from disappointment. But when we do too much of that, we risk becoming what’s often called snowplow parents, clearing every bump in the road before our children ever have to navigate it themselves.

Here’s the truth: The very struggles we try to remove from our kids' paths, are often the ones that build resilience, empathy, and problem-solving skills they need most. When we allow them to face small frustrations, disagreements, struggles or setbacks, we’re actually giving them powerful practice in handling life’s inevitable challenges.

So what can we do instead of plowing the path?

What if we walked beside our kids as they learned to navigate their path? Guiding, encouraging and offering a safe place to land, without taking the growth opportunities aways when they are faced with hard things...(We can do hard things...and so can our children)

The next time you feel tempted to jump in and fix it for your child, take a pause, take a breath (or two).

Ask yourself: Is this a moment to protect, or a moment to prepare?

That simple pause can open the door for growth - for both of you.

FeelLinks believes that developing emotional awareness is the foundation of this kind of growth. When kids learn to name and understand their feelings - and when parents model emotional reflection - it builds confidence, empathy, and resilience that no perfectly cleared path ever could. Our tools are designed to help families, classrooms and communities connect through emotion, so we can raise kids ready to handle both the smooth and the BuMpY roads ahead. 🩷